Thank You Donna Summer

I just finished attending an hour-long workshop entitled, "Self-Care 101: Taking the Self-Shame Out of Self Care."

The woman that facilitated the workshop is named Amanda Smith. She's a clinical social worker and therapist on BetterHelp.com and she writes a pretty cool blog called, Self Care 101.

Thanks Amanda. Good stuff.

And you're welcome, Amanda. I hope that all three people that read this post will hit you up for some therapy.

Self-Care is something that's new to me. I've been in recovery for 14 years and only recently realized that a self-care routine can consist of more than just 12-step meetings. 12-step meetings have been like a sanctuary for me. A place to gather my thoughts and center myself. They have been and continue to be an essential part of my recovery. 

Meetings are to me what lily pads are to frogs. A safe place to land.

But...

I was always under the impression that if I don't put my recovery first, then all of the other parts of my life will quickly come undone like that sweater I purchased on Temu. 

There is some truth to that. 

I know that if I drink or use again, I might as well hang an OUT OF BUSINESS sign around my neck.

But...

It's easy to fill my brain with unreasonable expectations. Like going to a meeting everyday, meditating in the morning, afternoon and night or going to the gym 7 days a week. That might very well work for some people but not for me.

Someone once told me that "expectations are resentments waiting to happen."

In this case, my resentments always wind up being against myself. I often put too much emphasis on the quantity instead of quality when it comes to self-care.

The truth of the matter is that the world will not explode if I miss one day of back and biceps and my recovery will not implode if I miss a 12-step meeting. 

The ultimate goal for me is balance.

In the immortal words of 90's Hip Hop sensations Black Sheep, "You can get with this or you can get with that."

Full disclosure. I actually thought that the group was Salt-N-Pepa and the lyric was "a little bit of this and a little bit of that." Which makes way more sense but we're gonna lean into it anyway.

So the next time you think you aren't doing enough or you start comparing your recovery to someone else's, remember that recovery is personal. It has to work for you and no one else. 

In the immortal words of the 70's Disco sensation Donna Summer, sometimes "enough is enough."

Nailed it.

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